Which one are you? I feel it is a learned behavior not genetic
“Here’s a question for you, if you are so inclined to answer: Recognizing it’s a sliding scale, do you consider yourself more of an introvert or an extrovert?
Lets understand the meaning
- a shy, reticent person. ( reticent: not revealing one’s thoughts or feelings readily.) a person predominantly concerned with their own thoughts and feelings rather than with external things.
- an outgoing, overtly expressive person.
These words are too often used to judge and categorise someone. Is the Buddha an introvert because he listens until it is time for him to interject?
Then too often we label ourselves with one of these and we make it who we are. We use it as an excuse for our behavior. If we admit that we are both depending on the situation we will allow ourselves the latitude to broaden our spectrum of communication. At times voice my opinion more readily than others. Maybe it is because I feel I know more on the subject. Maybe I feel less threatened by my audience. At my age I feel more confident in my skin.
Then there are times I sit back silently like the Buddah. I am either not well versed on the subject or the people in the circle of influence are not those I want to engage. I am more cautious. People have a tendency to judge. They leave the circle with an opinion of me. That could get embellished if their opinion of my comments are passed on.
When you label yourself an introvert you may be putting yourself in a box. Are you an introvert when you talk to your close friends that you feel comfortable around? Is it that you may not know enough about a subject? I think this comes down to fear. And what is permitted is that you are sometimes quiet and other times active in expressing yourself. when you are angry to you feel free to express yourself more? If so you are not being an introvert.
So depending on the situation I may behave one way or the other. If I see no value in sharing my thoughts with someone I’ll be quiet. If I encounter someone worthy of me learning from I’m more apt to engage quickly. I used to feel fear with some humans. When I feel safe I blossom.
AA continues to pound the inadequate phsyche into me by advocating we open our contribution with, “Hi my name is %^&* and I’m an alcoholic”. They cause me to label myself this diseased man. That is not their intention but if our parents always told us were dumb then how is that different from “I’m and alcoholic”. They never say now that you have obtained for “x” amount of time, you should move on to “Hello, my name is John and I am in discovery. There is so much inside of us we don’t know. It is all good stuff. When we discover the good stuff we don’t need to drink or escape. If you dream it, it is possible. History has proven it.
So don’t allow the label of Introvert or extrovert. Maybe you can say, at times I have the behavior of one or the other. But not always.